“You look entirely too happy for someone who’s about to torture his partner’s genitals.”
“I’m hardly going to be torturing you, Severus!”
“No? I stand corrected. It’s cock and ball tickle, is it?”
“Fine, call it torture if you like. I call it indulging in a bit of consensual sadism -”
“And I’d call it coerced, not consensual!”
“ - between two partners. You can still back out, you know - I did give you a choice between penalties.”
“My other option was to wear pink, smile, hand out candy to the First-Years - unpoisoned, might I add - and generally be nice. Not for a day, or a week, or even a month, but for an entire term!”
“I’ll admit the candy was a bit of a stretch for you, but -”
“And the pink? The smiling? The being nice wasn’t? You all but ensured I’d have no choice but to chose torture!”
“A normal person would have chosen the pink and ‘being nice’, you know.”
“You should know I delight in confounding normality.”
“Mmm. I wouldn’t like you otherwise. But something tells me you’re stalling.”
“Stalling? Whatever would give you that idea? Can’t you see how eager I am to submit to my partner’s desire to inflict pain upon my person?”
"You were the one who made the bet in the first place! And I'm sure that, if you'd won, you would have taken a great deal of pleasure in giving me something unpleasant or even humiliating to do."
"So this is about revenge!"
"Now you're just being ridiculous. Stop whining and come here. I’ve got some lovely things planned for you.”
“Why do I feel as if I am walking into a Manticore’s den?”
“Well, speaking of Manticore - no, Severus, sit down, I was joking. No Manticores will be harmed in tonight’s festivities. Your genitals, on the other hand, may be a bit...tender by the end of the night.”
“Just - get on with it, Lupin, before I strangle you!”
“Fine, fine. I was thinking I’d start with this…”
"What are you - no. No. Don't you dare, Lupin - I will poison your wolfsbane -"
“Don't be so infantile, I've seen you take the Cruciatus without a sound - this isn't remotely on the same scale as that."
“It looks like a torture device!”
“Well, technically speaking...stand still! Merlin, you’d think I was pulling teeth!”
"I might prefer that, wolf..."
"How did you ever survive as a Death Eater? There...how does that feel?"
“Damned uncomfortable - How do you think it feels?”
"Hmm. Not enough, then? I can add some more weight to it -"
"I happen to like them attached to my body, Lupin -”
“I’m hardly going to weight them that much. Just...enough that you feel the strain.”
“I feel the strain just fine - ow, be careful! I’ve only got one set of those!”
“Shut up and walk around a bit. Let me see how it looks - Merlin, Severus, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look so uncomfortable!”
“Uncomfortable? That’s putting it mildly. Fucking wolf!”
“Do you always whine this much? Come here, I want to add a few more.”
“What? Absolutely not! I won’t - back off, wolf, paws away - ow!”
“There. Nice and balanced now. How’s that feel?”
“That good, hmm? Come on, let me see - it's a good look on you, I think. Walk around for me again, feel them pulling -”
"Damnit - I will disembowel you in your sleep - Merlin's tits - augh - what am I supposed to be doing? Fucking - bloody wolf -"
"I believe I'm supposed to use this nice collection of toys on your genitals until you scream, cry, dance around in agony, beg me to stop, or promise me anything to cease tormenting you - or all of the above, really.”
“At least you agree that it’s torment...remind me why I continually put up with you, again?”
“Because I fuck you senseless, and you like it?”
“....I’m cancelling your order of Honeydukes chocolate. No, worse - I’ll give it all to Lucius!”
“Vicious indeed. I’ll have to raise the stakes then. What do you think of this one?"
"Of what? Oh no, no - no, get that thing away from me - AUGH! Ow! Ow, dammit - fuck, that hurts, ow! Stop - ow! Shite, do you - ow! - have any idea - fuck - how much that hurts?"
"No screams yet, and no tears. Just a lot of cursing, and considering I've heard you curse just as much over grading homework, I believe I'm just getting started. Let's try - this one."
".....like hell, wolf!"
"Don't be a child, Severus - I know what I'm doing. Some people say it barely hurts at all -"
"Like hell it does. Ow! Ow, fucking shit, get away from me - put that away now, Lupin, or I will hex you - fuck, fuck, fuck that hurts - I will hex you impotent, wolf, do you hear me? Ow!"
"And there's the dancing I hoped to see!"
"How about I dance on your fucking grave?"
“Cursing doesn’t count as screaming, Severus. Or as begging. And though I really enjoy the sight of you dancing around naked, you really should move your hands and hold still, or I might miss.”
“I want you to miss, you mangy, flea-ridden wolf! Ow - shite - dammit, Lupin -”
“....right, just for that, I’ve got something special for you.”
“And I believe I have had enough of this - I have somewhere else to be, and you can find someone else to be your bloody whipping boy!”
“Stand still and shut it, Severus. You’re acting like a coward -”
“Don’t call me a coward! You have no idea of the things I’ve endured -”
“Then stop acting like one. Spread your legs a little more, or I’ll end up pinching something you don’t want.”